And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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