Can Purell be used as lube?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
