put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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