Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
