i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
