Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
