we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
