I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's always time for handjobs
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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