"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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