my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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