My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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