Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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