3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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