Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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