I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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