wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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