So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
