just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
