im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
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Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
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So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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