I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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