I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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