don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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