and you said cock pushups were impossible
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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