I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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