I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize