i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
