Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
