i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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