Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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