the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
