There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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