let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
