Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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