I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
