I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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