I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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