Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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