apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
