operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
