Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
