Betty ford says i'm here all night
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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