Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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