Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
