I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize