i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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