physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
