I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
