Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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