Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
