five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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