big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
