she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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