One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
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