So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
