just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
