I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
