Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Sorry my hands just texted you
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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