He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
